CUT-AND-PASTE FORM LETTER
Feel free to use and abuse the following form letter. Make adjustments and
alterations as you see fit. Here at Buford Industries, we feel the system
is best served by calculated gestures of non-acquiescence:
Dear [insert your favorite local anti-graffiti press officer],
As a vital member, participant and team player in the human relay race, I
find your unsportsmanlike conduct quite peculiar. While I'm hard at play
trying to hit one out of the park for the team, you're preoccupied with
holding me back. This leaves me completely puzzled.
Surely a strategist like yourself can appreciate the finesse and swagger a
dedicated individual like myself displays.
Anyhow, I realize the laws we are coerced into abiding by (both formally and
informally) require a deadening of the soul. I do not question the accepted
norms that infuse society with the mindset that property is greater and more
important than human spirit.
So the great mystery is solved. Everyone can go home now. The universal
link between social and political systems is finally unveiled. It's the
glue that's been keeping the façade up all this time, right before our eyes:
Unfortunately, I am past due on the utilities and regretfully must remit
payment this month. However, feel free to contact me via any non-accepted
means of process and consumption for future billing inquiries.
[signed nobody special]
Cliché 379.5 At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
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